25th march 2009 ..the day i can never forget in my life never ever ..the day that came in n shattered all my dreams all my plans .The day that made me realize wat i am worth of ..

It ws a day prior to my cet results . 'Tomaro is my result..how did i perform in it... quite well maybe i can get a score around 100 + and with gd pi i can sneak into a good college n realize my lost dream back ' as the thoughts were goin thru i was getting nervous n bit anxious ..i believed in God he will not leave in despair he will guide me n get me a descent score . But he had some other bitter plans for me ..

When i was in my third year of my engineering i thought ok one more year to go i have to study as hard as possible n improve my aggregate beyond 55 % and by that i can attend Software company's interviews .. i will get a good job and i will have a hefty salary . Life will be bounce back n my hardship will gain fruit .I was having 3 kTs in the first year of my engineering it was a result of my vagabond nature ..it was due to my own mistakes , my own actions that land me into clearing just 2 subjects out of 5 in the first sem . When i took admission in engineering i thought ok KT is a reward for those who doesn't attend colleges, roam about and for those who start studying from the 11th hour ..i was pretty confident 40 marks out of 100 is quite simple thing and i can manage that easily ..BUt it made me realize its not that simple ..maybe i was categorized in the so said students too .I tried hard to clear the back logs but as the load increased it affected the upcoming exams too i have to clear 5+3 total 8 subjects at hand that too at a single stroke ..i failed to do so again got a KT in 1 subject ..and that thing(KT) was companion for me till my sem 4 ...i cleared the back logs but got a Kt in the fresh sem and to add.. my term work marks got dripping even upto 11 marks .. maybe the lecturers din like my face or the lectures din bother to support us guys ..who the hell will do anyways ..KT students wat fucking seriousness do they have in their studies ??..i remember when i was in second sem, we had workshop wherin we have to perform fitting, carpentry n stuffs .. i was pretty interested in it as i find practical things more than theoretical stuffs ;but during the lunch break as we always do while playing football i broke my left leg's ligaments that made me to sit at home for 2 week or so ..my leg was on a cast and i was sitting whole day on my bed ..when i came back to college i understood theres been a dispute or so between our drawing lecturer MR dhale sir n the students of our class , my term tests were pending , assignments THNKS to my dear frnds i cud manage to complete while i was at home in my bed .. u knw theres some bastards around us who misuses his power or hold on something so was one of the workshop sir .." SIR " i have not regrets for such people calling them a RATt instead of sir ... when i resumed my workshop i realised my job was pending with few days to go for the final submisson n the sir was making his bussiness out their .. 250 bucks n complete job will be done by the rascal..that too he will take previous years job ,done by students n gave us . He approached me too but i preferred doin my own ...with that grudge or maybe he din get a chance to fuck me ...i got 45/100 in workshop when other students got above 70 . He managed to spat my ass ...'move on' as always . With due regards to the asshole my aggregate was well blow 50 % ..their after i was constantly striving for increasing it above 55 % and my professors were backing me up by lowering my term work marks . All i was havin a zeal in my mind was no problem is my term works marks are low i will score high in subjects n nullify the loss ..67 marks ,83 marks 75 marks ..i was able to get into the subjects ..by the last year my agrregate touched 53 % and i was having that courage that i can manage to cross it beyond 55 % .. finally at the end of my engineering ,the last sem i scored 67% n pulled my aggregate to 55.5% ( a 0.5% as consolation i guess ) ..the day i was on the result section for the last sem of engineering i thought OK i can now get a JOB into a software company and can archive my dreams but wait hold on !!! fate has some other plans ...'RECESSION TIME ' .. no jobs for freshers , recruited guys are made to sit at bench assuring them they are wll with the so said offer letter but date of joining will be late .. wat bad cud one expect ..posted resume at various job portals but no reply it was a dire state again ..

It was the month of JUNE as advised by all "its the best time for higher studies MBA as one can get thru the recession period n come out when the fucking recession will eventually vanish".
CAT , XAT , SNAP..gave them all but cudn able t fetch good marks in them ..or maybe i am capable enough to even score in an entrance exam . CET common entrance test.. conducted by DTE ..the last resort for me to get into a good B school , the very last last resort of the year. CET is basically consisting of 200 questions with 1 mark for each question ..its all about speed 200 question @ 150 min ..need to be quick in thinking and able to complete as many questions as possible .. after the SNAP it was December i started gearing for CET ..planned topic wise study ,solved few mock papers .. Feb 15th the cet exam date ..paper was ok i managed to complete the 200 question my strategy was to spend not more than 2 min on a single question and sole most of them correctly and with 10 mins to go i will mark the remaining questions on a fluke ... by the same time i was also lookig for a job as a backup if the cet doesn't get as much my expectation i will have a job atleast ..but failed i cudn manage anywhere or maybe there was no job i still wonder why people say theres job still in market maybe i am a moron or maybe i am fucking blind to grab them ..

AS the cet result date was nearing all was running thru my mind was "Ok this is it... the last chance " ." will i be able to get into a good college ..can i or i can;t " ...anxious at the same time confident that God will surely pull me out and show me a path .. On the 25th march by the time it was 6 pm while goin thru the CET community on a social network i saw a thread reading 'RESULTS ARE OUT "..i quickly clicked it .. "i gt so n so wat are the last years cut off" ... i was scared to go thru the website n check my result therefore called up my frnd n ask her to see my result ..

Some time are moments in life when u expect something n seeks dead opposite to it ..some times there are moments when we doubt ourselves ,we doubt our potential ...IT was loud and it was shattering . I cud manage only 76 marks out ot 200 that made me a 70.47 percentile holder..i cudn belive my ears ..that time all i was seeing was HELL it was feeling like a big stone is being tied in my foot with hands tied n thrown in a deep pit underneath . MY hopes , my dreams everything came crashing ..For a momnet i was so upset i felt i shud ran away at the other i felt i am only worth of it. My last resort crashed i fucked in life again ..i screwed on my own .. i din not perform well in the exam n so do i got less .. I still don know wat to do ahead maybe a job n try cet agin next year ...or maybe a P course but job where is it ? PG course will i able to get that ? who i am ? Why is it happening ? Am i really have that potential or i just faking myself ? WAT next ?? .... 'MOVE ON ' as they say ... fucking move on in life . Lost in despair ..this was my ultimate hance to grab it which i cudnt to do so ... 76 marks thats says it all to me wat i am worth of !!!

THE DAY I WAS MADE TO FIND MY EXISTENCE ..THE DAY THAT MADE ME REALISE WAT I AM UPTO ..THE DAY I CAN NEVER FORGET !!!